Passion vs Obligation.
Both get things done. One with enthusiaism and one with dread.
At least I'm sure now. It may be a mistake right from the start and I am not going to repeat it. It will be dumb of me to do so.
Oh wells, no regrets but I'm disappointed instead.
Many ups and downs in 2010. May 2011 be a better one! =)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
ASS-U-ME
I don't like it when people assume that they know me very well. In fact, it irks me a lot when people 'act smart', self-believing that they know what am I thinking/feeling. Act like they know it all when in fact they know nothing at all.
I hate it even more when people speak to me in an accusing tone. It's irritating when people jump to conclusions and judge you based on that. They think that everything about them is right so when there's a problem, it's you. Self-conceited imbecile nincompoop.
I hate it even more when people speak to me in an accusing tone. It's irritating when people jump to conclusions and judge you based on that. They think that everything about them is right so when there's a problem, it's you. Self-conceited imbecile nincompoop.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
HAPPY ME!!!!
End of exams never felt so good. I've been so super duper duper ultra-ly happy for the past few days, enjoying life ttm!
Let's see. After the two very depressing paper on the 20th, I met with Mel, Sheryl and CL in town and we did some shopping + a very satisfying rotary steamboat buffet in Taka. Spammed cheese tofu and sliced pork! Omg so shiok I LOVE SLICED PORK!! Went home, showered, hop into Daddy's car, and wheee, back to CL's place for a stayover! Ah Chua came over too and we did the usuals. HTHT, play games, eat supper, and basically just lepak and nuaaa..
21st: Hahahaha lousy. Slept till 5 or 6pm I can't remember. Haha changed, had dinner with Daddy and Mummy (hiak hiak I get all the love since bro&sis aren't there!) then went down to town to meet Raphael and Eileen. Attempted to shop but didn't have much time. LOL our meeting time was 8pm but all three of us were terribly late. Hehe
22nd: JiJi x'mas celebration! Yeeharr! Went out of the house early so I could shop for Baba's present. Took me a long long time and before getting her a shirt in the end. Nice bright yellow I like! Sidetrack a bit: recently I'm crazily in love with colourful things! Previously I kept buying long-sleeved clothes (idk why too) and now I'm addicted to colours. So pretty and it makes me happy! Okay so back to the celebration. Had korean bbq for dinner @ Far East and we did our exchange. Got masks from DJJ! Hahaha can add on to the collection in the hall fridge hehe! Walked around, snapped super a lot of photos and met many random friends. Saw Cheryl, Ah Chua and Edward! =D!
23rd: Chehhh. Sis told me to reserve this date for her and I did. But in the end we didn't go out. Tsktsk! I played MJ though! Went over to Ernie's and sad to say, I lost money =((
24th: X'mas eve!! Hahahaha two poor souls without boyfriends by their side (that's DJJ and me lah) decided to meet up on this day so we need not nua at home and feel even more sad about our relationship status. LOL! Rented a few DVDs, went to Suntec and caught "Love Storey" (Turbo's church play and it's really good!), went to town, did our mini countdown by the road, went to my place, and we had a movie marathon. "Taken" was one of them and it's super good!! =D
25th: Sad or not? I went over to T.Payoh to teach tuition on Christmas leh! Anyway what made me very excited for the whole day was the party going on at Mel's in the evening. Christmas was obviously the theme so we ate, drank, gambled, talked, played, exchanged, eat again, took photos, eat again, nua around, eat again, clear up a bit, eat again. HAHAHAHAH you get the idea. Keep eating omggggg. I swear I have a humongous appetite already but no way we can finish that amount of food! Nonetheless, thank you our dear Melissa for organizing this party. Bu kui shi weifare rep!! Without her, we wouldn't have so many S27 gatherings up till date. Even though it wasn't full attendance, it was still great company! =D!
26th: Wa seh. That's like, yesterday? Hahaha! But I can't remember what I did!
27th: Crazy imba shopping with DJJ! Nothing much to describe for today because all we did was really just shopping. Total amount was $281.39. FML there goes the tuition fee that AuntMich just transferred to my account. Internal MJ session just now didn't help as well. Today is just not a day to keep money by my side! =(
Such a wordy post. Shall dig up a few photos from FB to make this place more vibrant. Hahaha reminds me of Expose theme. Viva La Vibrante!
Anyway this reminds me. Eric messaged me today, asking me when I'm free to embark on our F&E'11 Euro trip. Sad to say, I can't make it!! After exams in May, I'll be busy with X-Phy. After X-Phy, there's NVM. After NVM, there's sports camp and Idk what else coming in. I'm really disappointed that I can't join him. We've been planning this for so long and I really do want to tour Europe! It's pretty amazing that my parents do allow me to go too. BIG FAT SIGH =( Oh yar, Eric doesn't want to postpone it to year-end as well because he said he had enough of the cold. Lucky ass just came back from Korea while I'm stuck in this tropical minute island. T.T
Okay sad things aside. Pictures!
<3 x'mas!
<3 x'mas X2!!
<3 x'mas X3!!!
Let's see. After the two very depressing paper on the 20th, I met with Mel, Sheryl and CL in town and we did some shopping + a very satisfying rotary steamboat buffet in Taka. Spammed cheese tofu and sliced pork! Omg so shiok I LOVE SLICED PORK!! Went home, showered, hop into Daddy's car, and wheee, back to CL's place for a stayover! Ah Chua came over too and we did the usuals. HTHT, play games, eat supper, and basically just lepak and nuaaa..
21st: Hahahaha lousy. Slept till 5 or 6pm I can't remember. Haha changed, had dinner with Daddy and Mummy (hiak hiak I get all the love since bro&sis aren't there!) then went down to town to meet Raphael and Eileen. Attempted to shop but didn't have much time. LOL our meeting time was 8pm but all three of us were terribly late. Hehe
22nd: JiJi x'mas celebration! Yeeharr! Went out of the house early so I could shop for Baba's present. Took me a long long time and before getting her a shirt in the end. Nice bright yellow I like! Sidetrack a bit: recently I'm crazily in love with colourful things! Previously I kept buying long-sleeved clothes (idk why too) and now I'm addicted to colours. So pretty and it makes me happy! Okay so back to the celebration. Had korean bbq for dinner @ Far East and we did our exchange. Got masks from DJJ! Hahaha can add on to the collection in the hall fridge hehe! Walked around, snapped super a lot of photos and met many random friends. Saw Cheryl, Ah Chua and Edward! =D!
23rd: Chehhh. Sis told me to reserve this date for her and I did. But in the end we didn't go out. Tsktsk! I played MJ though! Went over to Ernie's and sad to say, I lost money =((
24th: X'mas eve!! Hahahaha two poor souls without boyfriends by their side (that's DJJ and me lah) decided to meet up on this day so we need not nua at home and feel even more sad about our relationship status. LOL! Rented a few DVDs, went to Suntec and caught "Love Storey" (Turbo's church play and it's really good!), went to town, did our mini countdown by the road, went to my place, and we had a movie marathon. "Taken" was one of them and it's super good!! =D
25th: Sad or not? I went over to T.Payoh to teach tuition on Christmas leh! Anyway what made me very excited for the whole day was the party going on at Mel's in the evening. Christmas was obviously the theme so we ate, drank, gambled, talked, played, exchanged, eat again, took photos, eat again, nua around, eat again, clear up a bit, eat again. HAHAHAHAH you get the idea. Keep eating omggggg. I swear I have a humongous appetite already but no way we can finish that amount of food! Nonetheless, thank you our dear Melissa for organizing this party. Bu kui shi weifare rep!! Without her, we wouldn't have so many S27 gatherings up till date. Even though it wasn't full attendance, it was still great company! =D!
26th: Wa seh. That's like, yesterday? Hahaha! But I can't remember what I did!
27th: Crazy imba shopping with DJJ! Nothing much to describe for today because all we did was really just shopping. Total amount was $281.39. FML there goes the tuition fee that AuntMich just transferred to my account. Internal MJ session just now didn't help as well. Today is just not a day to keep money by my side! =(
Such a wordy post. Shall dig up a few photos from FB to make this place more vibrant. Hahaha reminds me of Expose theme. Viva La Vibrante!
Anyway this reminds me. Eric messaged me today, asking me when I'm free to embark on our F&E'11 Euro trip. Sad to say, I can't make it!! After exams in May, I'll be busy with X-Phy. After X-Phy, there's NVM. After NVM, there's sports camp and Idk what else coming in. I'm really disappointed that I can't join him. We've been planning this for so long and I really do want to tour Europe! It's pretty amazing that my parents do allow me to go too. BIG FAT SIGH =( Oh yar, Eric doesn't want to postpone it to year-end as well because he said he had enough of the cold. Lucky ass just came back from Korea while I'm stuck in this tropical minute island. T.T
Okay sad things aside. Pictures!
<3 x'mas!
<3 x'mas X2!!
<3 x'mas X3!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Last teen year ALREADY?!
Hello people! I AM 19 YEARS OLD NOW!
When I was young, I always felt that university students are all big gorgors and jiejies but now that I'm in a uni myself, I don't feel grown up at all! Really! They call it the Peter Pan syndrome. I don't want to grow up. I like acting like a small kid, doing countless of childish acts. I'm happy that way.
So yes, back to my birthday. I'm not exactly a big fan of birthdays because I'm damn lazy to celebrate them. It comes every year and it's just another ordinary day! Moreover there are a billion people out there sharing the same birthday as you so it doesn't make it such a special day after all. Buuuuuuut, I must say that I had a pretty awesome one this year and that led me to this conclusion! What's important about a birthday is NOT the celebration, but the people who are around you at that time. The people who remembered, the people who bothered, and the people who actually do care.
See. The fact that I don't really care about my own birthday but they actually do makes me feels so touched. I hope I phrased it correctly. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate their effort. In fact I do, and very much too!!
On this special day (okay the day passed alr but let's just treat it as it hasn't), I would like to thank my parents for bring me to Earth. They have been wonderful parents, taking care and guiding me throughout all these years and I definitely wouldn't be who I am without them. They taught me moral values, taught me manners and gave me room to grow/develop. Time and time again I made them disappointed, but time and time again they made me feel the love. I am very thankful to have them as my beloved Daddy and Mummy. I will be a filial daughter I promise. =)
I would like to thank my friends too! Okay my dearest rommie Caryn Chua Hui Ying (I know you'll be reading this!). Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me, and getting so many people to do it with you too. I really awww-ed and wanted to cry when I saw the card you wrote. So nice of you, I love you too! Thanks for all the effort. You very busy huh. Celebrate as a roomie, celebrate as Honeydew Sistas, then we're gonna celebrate again with Jiji. Hehe. 爱死你了!
Then we have Melissa! You have been an awesome friend to me (just like how I have been an awesome friend to you too HAHAHAHA)! Thanks a lot for putting in the effort too. I have pasted up the many birthday notes you wrote for me! Pop by one day I can prove to you that it is indeed there. I must say that your art has improved a lot. Left-handers are indeed talented in art huh! Heh, I'll see ya again on Monday let's go Chomp Chomp eat!!! =D!
Hmm since this is a private-yet-not-really-that-private blog so I wouldn't know who's reading. If you're a friend of mine and you did wish me a happy birthday, thank you! If you're a friend of mine and you haven't done so, upalasial what you waiting for? HAHAHA okay kidding!
So yeaps, I'm gonna end this blog post soon so I can go watch The Mentalist. I FOUND IT ONLINE HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! Hehe before I go, I want to say it again that I am very happy on the day of my birthday. Thank you family, friends, relatives and the waiter at Marche (HAHA!). I felt so much love I think my heart melted. Give you a virtual kiss muackx muackx!
When I was young, I always felt that university students are all big gorgors and jiejies but now that I'm in a uni myself, I don't feel grown up at all! Really! They call it the Peter Pan syndrome. I don't want to grow up. I like acting like a small kid, doing countless of childish acts. I'm happy that way.
So yes, back to my birthday. I'm not exactly a big fan of birthdays because I'm damn lazy to celebrate them. It comes every year and it's just another ordinary day! Moreover there are a billion people out there sharing the same birthday as you so it doesn't make it such a special day after all. Buuuuuuut, I must say that I had a pretty awesome one this year and that led me to this conclusion! What's important about a birthday is NOT the celebration, but the people who are around you at that time. The people who remembered, the people who bothered, and the people who actually do care.
See. The fact that I don't really care about my own birthday but they actually do makes me feels so touched. I hope I phrased it correctly. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate their effort. In fact I do, and very much too!!
On this special day (okay the day passed alr but let's just treat it as it hasn't), I would like to thank my parents for bring me to Earth. They have been wonderful parents, taking care and guiding me throughout all these years and I definitely wouldn't be who I am without them. They taught me moral values, taught me manners and gave me room to grow/develop. Time and time again I made them disappointed, but time and time again they made me feel the love. I am very thankful to have them as my beloved Daddy and Mummy. I will be a filial daughter I promise. =)
I would like to thank my friends too! Okay my dearest rommie Caryn Chua Hui Ying (I know you'll be reading this!). Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me, and getting so many people to do it with you too. I really awww-ed and wanted to cry when I saw the card you wrote. So nice of you, I love you too! Thanks for all the effort. You very busy huh. Celebrate as a roomie, celebrate as Honeydew Sistas, then we're gonna celebrate again with Jiji. Hehe. 爱死你了!
Then we have Melissa! You have been an awesome friend to me (just like how I have been an awesome friend to you too HAHAHAHA)! Thanks a lot for putting in the effort too. I have pasted up the many birthday notes you wrote for me! Pop by one day I can prove to you that it is indeed there. I must say that your art has improved a lot. Left-handers are indeed talented in art huh! Heh, I'll see ya again on Monday let's go Chomp Chomp eat!!! =D!
Hmm since this is a private-yet-not-really-that-private blog so I wouldn't know who's reading. If you're a friend of mine and you did wish me a happy birthday, thank you! If you're a friend of mine and you haven't done so, upalasial what you waiting for? HAHAHA okay kidding!
So yeaps, I'm gonna end this blog post soon so I can go watch The Mentalist. I FOUND IT ONLINE HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! Hehe before I go, I want to say it again that I am very happy on the day of my birthday. Thank you family, friends, relatives and the waiter at Marche (HAHA!). I felt so much love I think my heart melted. Give you a virtual kiss muackx muackx!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I hate school.
I'm real depressed now.
Had a bad paper in the day, 3 more to come in the next 5 days.
I'm sick of school, sick of studying.
Freaking pekcek. Grouchy and I just want to throw a tantrum.
Had a bad paper in the day, 3 more to come in the next 5 days.
I'm sick of school, sick of studying.
Freaking pekcek. Grouchy and I just want to throw a tantrum.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Stupid Exams Can You Please Leave Me Alone. Me No Likey You! =(
Studying is making me sad.
I don't remember feeling so moody while studying. Maybe it's because non-NTU students are out there enjoying this festive season while the rest of us are back here mugging our ass off just to get a decent grade.
Shit, I don't remember spending so much time studying. For the past few weeks, my top priority is studies. Been slacking wayyyyyy to much and when many others have already completed past year papers, I'm still working on the tutorials FOR THE FIRST TIME.
A'levels wasn't even this bad. I wasn't this pekcek back then. I remember fooling around with BFF, procrastinating, going around school for the mystery hole at the girl's toilet with CJ+Serene+SiYuan and gang, waiting for 7pm to come so there's free beehoon and milo, sitting at the bus-stop with Steven. Sure, we were worried but definitely not stressed. For me at least. But this time, freaking hell I feel so 绝望 and pissed off that exams are here, at this timing!!
What is this. I have no mood to study. I'm too angsty. WHERE IS MY SNOW STORM!!!
So angry, so irritated, so pissed, so pekcek, so siannnnn.
EXAMS BEGONE!!!
WALAO SINCE WHEN I WILL WORRY ABOUT EXAMS ONE!!! Not trying to be arrogant or what but seriouslyyyyy, last time like anyhow anyhow also can get a decent grade one lei. But now?! TMD FML like seriously.
Okay I'm finding it amusing how come I'm so angsty in this post.
Summarize: EXAMS YOU CAN JUST GO AND DIE OKAY. GO AND DIE. GO GO GO!!!
I don't remember feeling so moody while studying. Maybe it's because non-NTU students are out there enjoying this festive season while the rest of us are back here mugging our ass off just to get a decent grade.
Shit, I don't remember spending so much time studying. For the past few weeks, my top priority is studies. Been slacking wayyyyyy to much and when many others have already completed past year papers, I'm still working on the tutorials FOR THE FIRST TIME.
A'levels wasn't even this bad. I wasn't this pekcek back then. I remember fooling around with BFF, procrastinating, going around school for the mystery hole at the girl's toilet with CJ+Serene+SiYuan and gang, waiting for 7pm to come so there's free beehoon and milo, sitting at the bus-stop with Steven. Sure, we were worried but definitely not stressed. For me at least. But this time, freaking hell I feel so 绝望 and pissed off that exams are here, at this timing!!
What is this. I have no mood to study. I'm too angsty. WHERE IS MY SNOW STORM!!!
So angry, so irritated, so pissed, so pekcek, so siannnnn.
EXAMS BEGONE!!!
WALAO SINCE WHEN I WILL WORRY ABOUT EXAMS ONE!!! Not trying to be arrogant or what but seriouslyyyyy, last time like anyhow anyhow also can get a decent grade one lei. But now?! TMD FML like seriously.
Okay I'm finding it amusing how come I'm so angsty in this post.
Summarize: EXAMS YOU CAN JUST GO AND DIE OKAY. GO AND DIE. GO GO GO!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Rapunzellll~
Today is a good day!!
I need some life like seriously. Everyday is just wake up, shower, pack my things, go SAC/ OCA to study, have dinner, continue studying, have supper, get back to hall, wash up, sleep, and the cycle repeats itself.
Buuuuut, today is different!!!
Went out to JP and caught Rapunzel with Eileen. Awww I love Disney movies!! Well, most of them at least. We need such lovely endings to keep us all optimistic when facing reality. Moreover I think Rapunzel is really pretty! Hahah big eyes and holy-mama slim waist. Kind of scary if she's a real-life being though. So skinny!!!
Okay maybe I'm really too deprived but seeing those x'mas decorations in JP today is enough to make me feel very very contented. We even heard x'mas carols!! Hahahaha sounds stupid but seriouslyyyyy, ntu where got x'mas carols one.
I know I should be studying, but I NEED A LIFE. Daddy is coming over tml night to bring me out for dinner. Wasn't very keen on going but since he asked, I felt that I should go. Next thurs I'll be going out of school to have dinner too. Once again I feel that I should study but yet again I was persuaded into attending. Then next Sat I'll be going clubbing (SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS!!) but hard to resist! 98.7FM having their 21st b'day party @ Velvet Underground, then both me and Eileen we won 4 passes each! Free flow drinks plus lucky draw leh!
Okay I promise I'll study damn hard. Been slacking way way too much for the previous 13 weeks! After talking to Farrell, I have a new goal now! Hhahaha aim for exchange! I think that's reasonable enough! =D
I need some life like seriously. Everyday is just wake up, shower, pack my things, go SAC/ OCA to study, have dinner, continue studying, have supper, get back to hall, wash up, sleep, and the cycle repeats itself.
Buuuuut, today is different!!!
Went out to JP and caught Rapunzel with Eileen. Awww I love Disney movies!! Well, most of them at least. We need such lovely endings to keep us all optimistic when facing reality. Moreover I think Rapunzel is really pretty! Hahah big eyes and holy-mama slim waist. Kind of scary if she's a real-life being though. So skinny!!!
Okay maybe I'm really too deprived but seeing those x'mas decorations in JP today is enough to make me feel very very contented. We even heard x'mas carols!! Hahahaha sounds stupid but seriouslyyyyy, ntu where got x'mas carols one.
I know I should be studying, but I NEED A LIFE. Daddy is coming over tml night to bring me out for dinner. Wasn't very keen on going but since he asked, I felt that I should go. Next thurs I'll be going out of school to have dinner too. Once again I feel that I should study but yet again I was persuaded into attending. Then next Sat I'll be going clubbing (SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS!!) but hard to resist! 98.7FM having their 21st b'day party @ Velvet Underground, then both me and Eileen we won 4 passes each! Free flow drinks plus lucky draw leh!
Okay I promise I'll study damn hard. Been slacking way way too much for the previous 13 weeks! After talking to Farrell, I have a new goal now! Hhahaha aim for exchange! I think that's reasonable enough! =D
Monday, December 6, 2010
Count On Me
Love the lyrics! Try listening to this song if you have not heard it before.
Count On Me -- Bruno Mars
"If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
yeah Yeah
If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song
beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will
remind you
Ohh
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
Yeah Yeah
You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go
Never say goodbye
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
you can count on me cos' I can count on you"
If someone pops into your head while you're listening. That person must have been a great friend to you. Let him/her know! =)
Count On Me -- Bruno Mars
"If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
yeah Yeah
If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song
beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will
remind you
Ohh
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
Yeah Yeah
You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go
Never say goodbye
You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Wooooh, Wooooh
you can count on me cos' I can count on you"
If someone pops into your head while you're listening. That person must have been a great friend to you. Let him/her know! =)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
You don't know, so don't act like you do.
I woke up at 1.45am, fully awake, sat up in bed, laid against the wall, place my knees close to me, and I stone. It was a tranquil moment, sitting in that position and just let my thoughts wander. Maybe it's because of the timing, maybe it's because I'm alone, or maybe it's just the atmosphere in the room at that point. All I could hear is the clock ticking and the fan spinning above. All these felt oddly comfortable, but then I sighed.
Am I happy?
I hope so.
Who I am in the presence of others VS Who I am when I am alone. There's a difference. I wouldn't call I hypocrisy, nor will I label it as a facade. This is just the way it is. Either way, I am who I am and I like it this way. Be true to others, and be true to yourself.
Don't judge me after you've read this. You won't understand, and I'm not saying that you should. Take it with a pinch of salt. We all have times that we just need to be alone. Once again, don't judge.
This reminds me. Each time we know that a friend is feeling unhappy, we will show our concern, asking him/her if she is alright and letting them know that we will be there when he/she does need us. However, how many times do we actually mean what we say? For me, I really do mean it if I ever told you that you can talk to me if you need someone for support. However, when I think about it, I realise that there's actually nothing much I can do for that friend if he/she comes to me. The max I can promise is to be a good audience. I'll listen, but when it comes to good advices, I'm sorry, I am unable to give you any.
Nor can I say things that are consoling. To me, no matter how sincere those words are, they will end up being impractical when it comes out of my mouth. It's like patting the shoulder of someone and saying "Things will get better". What makes you so sure that they will? What if they don't? What if that person believed in you but in the end, things still end up being screwed up? Can you be accountable for the false hopes you've given? Life is not a fairytale. We don't get happily ever after endings all the time.
Buuuuut, I still need people to give me that glimpse of hope. Albeit sugarcoated, listening to it a few more times will somehow make me feel that it's real. We live in a world that somehow needs us to lie to ourselves, intentionally indulging in the attitude of escapism.
"I hope so" doesn't mean that I'm not. Like what I've said, don't judge when you don't understand.
Absolutes are never true. Spot the irony.
Am I happy?
I hope so.
Who I am in the presence of others VS Who I am when I am alone. There's a difference. I wouldn't call I hypocrisy, nor will I label it as a facade. This is just the way it is. Either way, I am who I am and I like it this way. Be true to others, and be true to yourself.
Don't judge me after you've read this. You won't understand, and I'm not saying that you should. Take it with a pinch of salt. We all have times that we just need to be alone. Once again, don't judge.
This reminds me. Each time we know that a friend is feeling unhappy, we will show our concern, asking him/her if she is alright and letting them know that we will be there when he/she does need us. However, how many times do we actually mean what we say? For me, I really do mean it if I ever told you that you can talk to me if you need someone for support. However, when I think about it, I realise that there's actually nothing much I can do for that friend if he/she comes to me. The max I can promise is to be a good audience. I'll listen, but when it comes to good advices, I'm sorry, I am unable to give you any.
Nor can I say things that are consoling. To me, no matter how sincere those words are, they will end up being impractical when it comes out of my mouth. It's like patting the shoulder of someone and saying "Things will get better". What makes you so sure that they will? What if they don't? What if that person believed in you but in the end, things still end up being screwed up? Can you be accountable for the false hopes you've given? Life is not a fairytale. We don't get happily ever after endings all the time.
Buuuuut, I still need people to give me that glimpse of hope. Albeit sugarcoated, listening to it a few more times will somehow make me feel that it's real. We live in a world that somehow needs us to lie to ourselves, intentionally indulging in the attitude of escapism.
"I hope so" doesn't mean that I'm not. Like what I've said, don't judge when you don't understand.
Absolutes are never true. Spot the irony.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)