Staying optimistic and pessimistic at the same time.
So volatile, so unsure, so unfathomable.
I'm keeping my hopes up yet constantly reminding myself to be careful.
Scared of being burt, scared that I'll be disappointed.
It's kinda weird. Trying not to think of something that makes you happy because you are afraid that in the end, the reason why you are sad is because you are too happy before.
Now I realise, when I cannot express myself clearly enough, I find it impossible for to confide in anybody. Whyyyy.
You ought to know, I ought to tell. But somehow none of the words seems right.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
TMDKL
I am like a tmdk tired now but I can't go to sleep yet. Many things undone and being super unproductive now isn't help at all. I know I might as well just go to bed and do it tml but I know better. Damn but I think I'll still end up procrastinating and do it tml. I'm screwed if I can't finish in time. But really, I can't think now. My head is spinning and I feel like puking. I can't afford to fall ill again. I'll go bang my head on the wall if I do. I hate how my immune system is super weak nowadays. Like suka suka I'll be down already whatisthis.
Just checked my mail and I got a F for IT quiz. Please tell me why am I not surprised. Totally should have feigned illness and give it a miss. Sick on the wrong days =(
Kukup trip with 20th comm was a blast. Coconuts overdose and I'm a little sick of prawns now. And yes, continue to stay away from alcohol I hate the taste. A more detailed post to come when I'm in a right state of mind and when I'm happier.
4E5 class gathering just now and I'm so glad to see those familiar faces again. I love Swiss. Sidetrack a bit, saw a couple of Swiss students having their flag day at Lot1 and I eagerly took out my waller to donate. Told the girl that I was from Swiss too. Hehe =)
Okay maybe I should rest. I might just fall off from the chair if I continue to face MSword for another minute =.=
Just checked my mail and I got a F for IT quiz. Please tell me why am I not surprised. Totally should have feigned illness and give it a miss. Sick on the wrong days =(
Kukup trip with 20th comm was a blast. Coconuts overdose and I'm a little sick of prawns now. And yes, continue to stay away from alcohol I hate the taste. A more detailed post to come when I'm in a right state of mind and when I'm happier.
4E5 class gathering just now and I'm so glad to see those familiar faces again. I love Swiss. Sidetrack a bit, saw a couple of Swiss students having their flag day at Lot1 and I eagerly took out my waller to donate. Told the girl that I was from Swiss too. Hehe =)
Okay maybe I should rest. I might just fall off from the chair if I continue to face MSword for another minute =.=
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
2010 in a nutshell =)
Realised that I didn't summarize my 2010!
Okay actually it's not of great importance but I can't get to sleep now so might as well. Hehe
January!
Went for my second overseas trip with friends, the first being the one to Phuket with council guys. This time, Mel, CL, Sheryl and I went over to Genting! Hehe cheap cheap getaway, I like! Went during their super off-peak season so it was really enjoyable. Not much of a need to queue for rides yeeharr. Sad to say, they're not that much into roller coaster rides as I am. The maximum we went to was Corkscrew, and that was after much persuading and pulling and scamming before I managed to get Mel to go with me. Gave Spaceshot a miss! Omgg suddenly I feel for bungee jumping. New Zealand anybody? =D
Love them! <3!
February!
First time I ever worked. Went over to ZhengHua primary for MOE teaching attachment. Didn't really teach much over there. It was super slack work but I did learn a lot though! In primary schools it's not really about teaching but more of classroom management instead. After spending a month over there, I really salute primary school teachers. Their level of patience is imba o.o
March-May!
I was tired, but no doubt I had a lot a lot of fun working. Went back to Swiss as a relief teacher with DJJ and Ying! One plus point is that I'm back to my alma mater. Second plus point is that I back there with such good friends. Shared one table with Ying and we were just diagonally opposite DJJ! Ex-teachers-turn-colleagues and got to know many new faces! I remember laughing a lot back then. Everyday, despite having to wake up at 6plus, is still a happy day. We had our problems too, but having nice company around me really made everything so much better. Moreover, I got to hang out with DJJ and Ying min 5 days a week! We see each other so much but we never get sick of it. I like that.
Darren and Mr Teng's treat! =D!
Oh ya. It was also during this period of time that I picked up tuition. 2 cousins at T.Payoh, and 2 St.Marg girls at Newton. The rates are pretty good so the max I earned in a month actually amounted to $2.5K! Not too bad huh! Yayy! Before working my bank account had less than 5 dollars in it. After 4 months of working, it went up to 4K plus. Sad to sad, it's down to 1K plus now T.T
June!
I went overseas again! With DJJ and Daddy, we made our way to Macau and ZhuHai. Omggg how much I miss those days! We were so carefree and everyday it's just shop and eat and shop and eat! Daddy is very nice too. He appears every now and then to bring us out for a good meal and pass me money. Most of the time he's over at the casino while DJJ and me just hang around and do whatever we want. Drink 2 cups of bubble tea everyday, fantasize over our cute hairdresser, spit watermelon seeds around like the locals (actually they don't really do that but we don't care lah HAHA!), shopped like crazy, did manicure/pedicure... My oh my. DJJ I miss those days with you! =DD!
Freaking atas hehe!
August!
YOG! Volunteered myself for YOG and it's indeed a once in a life time experience. Haha I see myself as a highly patriotic Singaporean so I'm very honoured to be involved in the games. Once again, I was with DJJ hehe! Worked with great people like Yati and Steven (and not to mention Auntie). It has been great knowing them! I know that there are people out there being skeptical about the entire YOG hooha and I can only say it's because they don't understand. It's inspiring when you're at the event ground, looking at those young athletes compete with once another. They are trained to perform under immense pressure. Pressure from the crowds, pressure from the fact that their country sent them over so that they can bring glory back to the nation. They are individuals who have achieved so much more despite being much younger too. You see them perspire, you see them smile, you see them cry. I admire them. I really do! Hehe and not to forget, my Thai boy. Ahahahaha though he's not super cute nor handsome but really! He's a charmer~ =P!
That's Yati! =D
Sports camp! My first activity related to school and it was hella memorable. Ying was with me throughout the entire camp (I just realised that I confirm plus chop have someone I'm very used to around me whenever I embark on smth new. Erm, I guess that's a good thing? Haha!) and I can remember super clearly how I relied on her during camp. We get so shagged until we kept questioning one another why the hell did we sign ourselves up to go through all this. Quite funny I would say. Now that happy girl is in her lovey dovey world with Mr Ruben and I feel that I'm in love too. They're just so sweet together AWWW! Okay I'm digressing.
Disneyyy~
September!
School started. I share the same tutorial and naturally same lectures with BeeHim. So we started to attend lessons together. I'm glad to have her with me! I have to admit that I'm super prone to ponning. I find it so hard to attend lessons! With Bee, she forces me to attend lectures (provided that I'm awake to answer her phone calls LOL) and also reminding me every week that I should go for IT. Hahahaha we'll be tgt for the next sem so yay!
Main comm! Can't remember was it Sept or Oct already lah. Either way I remember thinking super long about this matter. Each night, Ying and I will just lie in bed, discussing if we should join main comm and each night, we reach no conclusion LOL. I swear I was super indecisive then. I am easily persuaded and that didn't help at all. I listen to one party, then I will go okay no I don't want to join already. Then comes along another party then I will go okay, maybe I should join after all. This cycle repeated itself for so many times I lost track. Obviously, I went for it in the end. Submitted the form and I even played mj that night. Hahahaha can't remember who was the one telling me but I do recall that person saying that I look very distracted. LOL I was! In my mind I was going omg-I-can't-believe-that-I-submitted-the-form-after-all-siao-what-am-I-thinking. Okay it's all pretty amusing to me now =P
Mafia wannabes~
December!
I realise one trend. December = the most depressing month. It has been happening for a few consecutive years already! End of J1, I was very frustrated over one matter and they made me breakdown pretty often. I was really unhappy and I cried a lot. End of J2, I hurt someone I shouldn't and that got me regretting a lot. Sad to say, I'm a wimp so up till today, I've not done anything to rectify things. This year! I don't know why but I was super affected by the examinations. Maybe it's because this is the first time ever I was so unprepared for my papers and that got me feeling very stressed. Not the die-lah-I-won't-do-well stress. It's the die-lah-I-know-I-won't-do-well-but-still-can't-be-bothered attitude that got me stressed. Aiya whatever I'm not making sense here.
Is it me, or did 2010 really pass by too quickly? Once again I felt that I haven't achieve much in this year. I did nothing impressive and it's almost as if I have wasted another year in my life. Okay right now, as a tradition I shall tell myself to work hard for 2011. I highly doubt it lah. Just gonna be bombarded with mundane school work. Wa sian >.<
Okay actually it's not of great importance but I can't get to sleep now so might as well. Hehe
January!
Went for my second overseas trip with friends, the first being the one to Phuket with council guys. This time, Mel, CL, Sheryl and I went over to Genting! Hehe cheap cheap getaway, I like! Went during their super off-peak season so it was really enjoyable. Not much of a need to queue for rides yeeharr. Sad to say, they're not that much into roller coaster rides as I am. The maximum we went to was Corkscrew, and that was after much persuading and pulling and scamming before I managed to get Mel to go with me. Gave Spaceshot a miss! Omgg suddenly I feel for bungee jumping. New Zealand anybody? =D
Love them! <3!
February!
First time I ever worked. Went over to ZhengHua primary for MOE teaching attachment. Didn't really teach much over there. It was super slack work but I did learn a lot though! In primary schools it's not really about teaching but more of classroom management instead. After spending a month over there, I really salute primary school teachers. Their level of patience is imba o.o
March-May!
I was tired, but no doubt I had a lot a lot of fun working. Went back to Swiss as a relief teacher with DJJ and Ying! One plus point is that I'm back to my alma mater. Second plus point is that I back there with such good friends. Shared one table with Ying and we were just diagonally opposite DJJ! Ex-teachers-turn-colleagues and got to know many new faces! I remember laughing a lot back then. Everyday, despite having to wake up at 6plus, is still a happy day. We had our problems too, but having nice company around me really made everything so much better. Moreover, I got to hang out with DJJ and Ying min 5 days a week! We see each other so much but we never get sick of it. I like that.
Darren and Mr Teng's treat! =D!
Oh ya. It was also during this period of time that I picked up tuition. 2 cousins at T.Payoh, and 2 St.Marg girls at Newton. The rates are pretty good so the max I earned in a month actually amounted to $2.5K! Not too bad huh! Yayy! Before working my bank account had less than 5 dollars in it. After 4 months of working, it went up to 4K plus. Sad to sad, it's down to 1K plus now T.T
June!
I went overseas again! With DJJ and Daddy, we made our way to Macau and ZhuHai. Omggg how much I miss those days! We were so carefree and everyday it's just shop and eat and shop and eat! Daddy is very nice too. He appears every now and then to bring us out for a good meal and pass me money. Most of the time he's over at the casino while DJJ and me just hang around and do whatever we want. Drink 2 cups of bubble tea everyday, fantasize over our cute hairdresser, spit watermelon seeds around like the locals (actually they don't really do that but we don't care lah HAHA!), shopped like crazy, did manicure/pedicure... My oh my. DJJ I miss those days with you! =DD!
Freaking atas hehe!
August!
YOG! Volunteered myself for YOG and it's indeed a once in a life time experience. Haha I see myself as a highly patriotic Singaporean so I'm very honoured to be involved in the games. Once again, I was with DJJ hehe! Worked with great people like Yati and Steven (and not to mention Auntie). It has been great knowing them! I know that there are people out there being skeptical about the entire YOG hooha and I can only say it's because they don't understand. It's inspiring when you're at the event ground, looking at those young athletes compete with once another. They are trained to perform under immense pressure. Pressure from the crowds, pressure from the fact that their country sent them over so that they can bring glory back to the nation. They are individuals who have achieved so much more despite being much younger too. You see them perspire, you see them smile, you see them cry. I admire them. I really do! Hehe and not to forget, my Thai boy. Ahahahaha though he's not super cute nor handsome but really! He's a charmer~ =P!
That's Yati! =D
Sports camp! My first activity related to school and it was hella memorable. Ying was with me throughout the entire camp (I just realised that I confirm plus chop have someone I'm very used to around me whenever I embark on smth new. Erm, I guess that's a good thing? Haha!) and I can remember super clearly how I relied on her during camp. We get so shagged until we kept questioning one another why the hell did we sign ourselves up to go through all this. Quite funny I would say. Now that happy girl is in her lovey dovey world with Mr Ruben and I feel that I'm in love too. They're just so sweet together AWWW! Okay I'm digressing.
Disneyyy~
September!
School started. I share the same tutorial and naturally same lectures with BeeHim. So we started to attend lessons together. I'm glad to have her with me! I have to admit that I'm super prone to ponning. I find it so hard to attend lessons! With Bee, she forces me to attend lectures (provided that I'm awake to answer her phone calls LOL) and also reminding me every week that I should go for IT. Hahahaha we'll be tgt for the next sem so yay!
Main comm! Can't remember was it Sept or Oct already lah. Either way I remember thinking super long about this matter. Each night, Ying and I will just lie in bed, discussing if we should join main comm and each night, we reach no conclusion LOL. I swear I was super indecisive then. I am easily persuaded and that didn't help at all. I listen to one party, then I will go okay no I don't want to join already. Then comes along another party then I will go okay, maybe I should join after all. This cycle repeated itself for so many times I lost track. Obviously, I went for it in the end. Submitted the form and I even played mj that night. Hahahaha can't remember who was the one telling me but I do recall that person saying that I look very distracted. LOL I was! In my mind I was going omg-I-can't-believe-that-I-submitted-the-form-after-all-siao-what-am-I-thinking. Okay it's all pretty amusing to me now =P
Mafia wannabes~
December!
I realise one trend. December = the most depressing month. It has been happening for a few consecutive years already! End of J1, I was very frustrated over one matter and they made me breakdown pretty often. I was really unhappy and I cried a lot. End of J2, I hurt someone I shouldn't and that got me regretting a lot. Sad to say, I'm a wimp so up till today, I've not done anything to rectify things. This year! I don't know why but I was super affected by the examinations. Maybe it's because this is the first time ever I was so unprepared for my papers and that got me feeling very stressed. Not the die-lah-I-won't-do-well stress. It's the die-lah-I-know-I-won't-do-well-but-still-can't-be-bothered attitude that got me stressed. Aiya whatever I'm not making sense here.
Is it me, or did 2010 really pass by too quickly? Once again I felt that I haven't achieve much in this year. I did nothing impressive and it's almost as if I have wasted another year in my life. Okay right now, as a tradition I shall tell myself to work hard for 2011. I highly doubt it lah. Just gonna be bombarded with mundane school work. Wa sian >.<
Sunday, January 2, 2011
First post of the year!
I am still sad over the fact that I can't tour Europe with Eric. I really really wanted to go! The fact that I'm going with him, the fact that it's Europe, or simply just the fact that I want to go on a proper holiday!! Been watching the news and even Thailand is snowing zomgwhatisthis. I want to visit a snowy country again. Damn I'm getting more and more depressed as I think about how sad it is to be trapped in Sg. T.T
Anyway, it's now 2011! I had the most boring countdown ever. I'm just a lazy bum that avoids crowd lah. This time, I simply nua-ed in bed and read my exciting novel. Didn't even realize that it's 2011 alr until Mummy came down and surprised me from the back.
So,
First thing I did in 2011: Read book
First food I ate: Blueberry Morning with Milk
First person who msged me: Mel
First person I msged: Daddy
First person I called: Gorgor
Well, despite my very unexciting end of 2010, I had a very happening morning today. Was lying in bed sleeping with a blocked nose and when it itched a little, I rubbed it with the back of my hand. It was very watery (gross max I know) so I fumbled around for a tissue to wipe those 'mucus' away. I did all that with my eyes closed. Somehow, the mucus kept flowing so I got pekcek and opened my eyes, only to realize that I'm having a terrible case of nosebleed! Jumped off the bed instantly and the blood just gushed out of my left nostril and dripped all over. It's really like a tap! Formed this trail of blood as I hurriedly ran to the bathroom. Stayed there for quite some time as I couldn't stop the bleeding. Kinda scary. Whole basin was tainted dark red and I was very disgusted by the metalic taste in my mouth. Worst case of nosebleed I ever had. In tv shows you'll see those with one short trail ending somewhere above the upper lip. Mine was one flowing trail going over my mouth and all the way to the chin, dripping to the ground from there. So scary =((
New Year wishes:
1) Stay healthy! Especially so for Mummy. She has been complaining about numbness around the waist area as well as dark spots appearing, affecting her eyesight. It's really worrying me.
2) Stay happy! Hope to smile and laugh more often =)
3) Balance between work and play.
Byebye!
Anyway, it's now 2011! I had the most boring countdown ever. I'm just a lazy bum that avoids crowd lah. This time, I simply nua-ed in bed and read my exciting novel. Didn't even realize that it's 2011 alr until Mummy came down and surprised me from the back.
So,
First thing I did in 2011: Read book
First food I ate: Blueberry Morning with Milk
First person who msged me: Mel
First person I msged: Daddy
First person I called: Gorgor
Well, despite my very unexciting end of 2010, I had a very happening morning today. Was lying in bed sleeping with a blocked nose and when it itched a little, I rubbed it with the back of my hand. It was very watery (gross max I know) so I fumbled around for a tissue to wipe those 'mucus' away. I did all that with my eyes closed. Somehow, the mucus kept flowing so I got pekcek and opened my eyes, only to realize that I'm having a terrible case of nosebleed! Jumped off the bed instantly and the blood just gushed out of my left nostril and dripped all over. It's really like a tap! Formed this trail of blood as I hurriedly ran to the bathroom. Stayed there for quite some time as I couldn't stop the bleeding. Kinda scary. Whole basin was tainted dark red and I was very disgusted by the metalic taste in my mouth. Worst case of nosebleed I ever had. In tv shows you'll see those with one short trail ending somewhere above the upper lip. Mine was one flowing trail going over my mouth and all the way to the chin, dripping to the ground from there. So scary =((
New Year wishes:
1) Stay healthy! Especially so for Mummy. She has been complaining about numbness around the waist area as well as dark spots appearing, affecting her eyesight. It's really worrying me.
2) Stay happy! Hope to smile and laugh more often =)
3) Balance between work and play.
Byebye!
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